Setting Boundaries and Guarding Your Time
When my kids were small, they begged me not to take them to the grocery store. We lived in a small town, and I was a somewhat recognizable figure in the art community. That meant that I knew a lot of people. And with one grocery store in town, it was more likely than not that I would run into someone I knew from the gallery, often artists who would ask me questions about the gallery or their work. Too often, I’d allow myself to be drawn into a conversation that I really didn’t want to have. Meanwhile, my kids just wanted to get home.
Off-hours meetings and events encroached on my private time, too. I’m a morning person and by the end of the workday, I’m ready to get home and stay there. Instead, I’d find myself at an exhibit opening reception, a music event, or a meeting after work. As a prominent part of my community, I thought it was critical for me to be visible, taking part in community events.
As I started to feel increasingly drained, I found myself needing more recharge time from my work at the end of the day. I realized that the problem was my inability and unwillingness to say no.
As I write these blogs for galleries, I am seeing a consistent theme – saying no. For many years, I didn’t say no very often. Which meant I was saying yes, a lot. And a lot of those yesses got me in trouble, made more work, or just plain didn’t feel good.
I didn’t want to miss out on a single opportunity that might be good for my business. My identity was so wrapped up in being a gallery owner that I couldn’t see the boundary between me and the OOAK Art Gal Boss Lady, so of course neither could anyone else. What I was leaving out of the equation was me, that a drained and exhausted me was definitely NOT good for my business.
I decided to approach this by choosing only two off-hours events that I’d attend each week. That clear boundary made it easier to decline a last-minute invite to an open mic or a reception. That said, if I thought an activity would energize me, such as a late afternoon hike, I’d gladly accept.
The face-to-face encounters were a little more challenging, and I allowed myself some grace there. However, when it became clear that a particular conversation was more appropriate at work, I’d gently and firmly ask whoever to call me at work or email me to set up an appointment or meeting.
Once I started being more intentional with my off hours, it really didn’t take long for me to reclaim my time. Being able to compartmentalize my work life from my personal life left me feeling more peaceful at home and more energetic and work.
Don’t be afraid to say no. Saying no to others often means saying yes to you. Resist worrying about missing an opportunity. There will be other opportunities. Don’t bring work home. All that creative energy, beauty, and yeah, that paperwork will be there for you in the morning. Lock the door and wish your gallery goodnight when you leave at the end of the day.